The novice bloviates. Maybe people he has not met yet will try to set him straight. They might say pretty much what the Yankee says, while making the points in ways that are gentler, longer, and subtler. But not as funny.
… Why are we here? …
‘Cuz wer nawt theyah.
… What is the meaning of life? …
Wehrds need meanings; life don’t.
What happens when an irrestible force meets an immovable object?
We lehrn who was lyin’: the fellah sellin’ a fawhrs or the fellah sellin’ an awbject.
Hmmm. Coulda been both.
Certainty is not exclusive to math and logic.
For example, no squirrel can get past the baffle on my bird feeder.